I’m sure you’ve heard the terms In one ear and out the other, Selective listening and Tuning you out, but my kids have perfected the art of Parental Speech Conversion. What is Parental Speech Conversion, you ask. Well, this is when a child completely converts what the parent said into something completely different before complying.
Here are some examples of What I Say vs What My Kids Hear:
What I said: Please clean your room.
What my son heard: Pick up one piece of trash from your floor and consider your room cleaned.
What I said: You are sick, you should be resting.
What my daughter heard: Run around like a crazy person and steal more popsicles out of the freezer.
What I said: No, I don’t think that is going to happen.
What my son heard: Ask again, about a thousand times, and it might POSSIBLY happen.
What I said: Do not jump on the couch.
What my daughter heard: Jump off of the couch instead.
What I said: Go take a shower.
What my son heard: Stand in the shower for 2 minutes and 32 seconds, but do not wash a single thing.
What I said: Eat your dinner and you can have a dessert.
What my daughter heard: Lick the ketchup off of that one piece of hot dog and then, cry about ice cream all night.
What I said: Please bring all of the dirty laundry out of your room.
What my son heard: Bring out the outfit you wore yesterday, but leave the mountain of dirty underwear and socks in the corner of your room right where it is.
What I said: It’s time to get in the truck.
What my daughter heard: Run around the truck multiple times and then, hide behind the garage and giggle.
What I said: Can you guys just leave me alone?!
What my kids heard: Harass mom as much as possible because that is how we show her that we care!