I may have stolen the heart from inside you
But this does not define you
I have been allowing guilt, depression, anxiety, parenting, anger, Fibromyalgia and everything else to consume me lately. I have been allowing it to take control and I have been allowing it to define me.
When things become overwhelming, or when it seems like problems continually avalanche on top of you, it is easy to fall under its spell. Letting it control you, letting it define you and letting it consume you.
I haven’t been myself. I haven’t allowed myself time to come back. I have been constantly fighting with all of this mental and physical pain, that it has become all I know from day-to-day.
I have fallen into a cycle of self-despair. I medicate, I cry, I sleep, but I don’t live.
I need to allow myself to come back to life. I need to breathe, in spite of everything that is consuming me. I need to push the darkness away and get my heart back.
It’s not something that I can do with a single post and it is not something that I can do in a single day.
It will happen in small moments. Small steps. Moments in which I choose myself over the guilt and sadness. Moments where I allow myself to breathe and live, rather than being buried in the avalanche of issues that have been overwhelming me.
Step by step, I need to free myself. I need to allow myself to come out from underneath everything. I need to stop trying to carry everything on my own, even when it’s too heavy. I need to remember that I have a few people who can and will help me get out from underneath it all.
My husband, my family, my friends, they will pull me out, if I let them.
I need to let them.
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