To not be ok.
We put so much stock in being ok.
In being fine.
In being alright.
I smile as I walk past people.
I wave and make small talk.
I wake up with my kids.
I struggle through my day.
All the while, I deal with emotional and physical pain.
I take my meds and I try to break free,
But like shackles on my ankles, the pain restrains me.
I couldn’t help but be in awe of Lady Gaga when I saw her live. I knew that she has dealt with mental and physical pain, like me. Here she was, dancing across an arena, while I could barely stand for the whole show. I had stars in my eyes and looked at her like she was a superhero!
Since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I have felt displaced, useless and unworthy. I am having to relearn my own limitations, learn what my body can handle and what it can’t. I’m still learning, I’m still struggling and even as I type this, I am hurting.
Now, with the news of her hospitalization and tour cancellation, I feel like she is more real than she has ever been! She struggles, like I do. She hurts, like I do. She needs help, like I do. She is showing the world that it is ok to not be ok.
I am not alone.
We are not alone.