Confidence is a three syllable word that I have no trouble saying, but a lot of trouble displaying.
Confidence is something that everyone should have, but a lot of people have trouble finding it.
I am one of those people who have had trouble finding it.
I truly didn’t understand what confidence was until I entered my 30’s. Therefore, I didn’t even begin looking for it until then. I have always had low self-esteem and struggled to find my own self-worth. I am not going to dive deep into my past right now, but there were some very awful things that happened that really broke me down, devalued my self-worth and took away the confidence that I was born with.
Throughout school, I was always struggling to figure out who I was and where I belonged. I also put forward a very strong face and presence. People who knew me, but didn’t know me as well, may be shocked to find out that I was not as confident as I seemed. I used false confidence and faked strength as a barrier to protect the fragile little girl who was inside and outwardly, it worked. Well,for the most part anyway.
Now, in my 30’s, a wife to an AMAZING husband and a mother to two incredible children, I have realized that the false confidence that I have always hidden behind isn’t a barrier at all. In fact, it is an obstacle. A big obstacle that I am trying to overcome.
I have decided that 2016 will be the year that I focus on me and overcoming that false confidence, in order to find the real confidence inside.
I am seeing a psychiatrist and working on my mental self.
I am seeing a personal trainer and working on my physical self.
Yes, I am on anti-depressants, but I believe I need to be.
Yes, I bought myself some weights and a yoga mat, because I am serious this time.
I am spending more time on me and, I have to say, it feels good. It feels damn good!
I am hoping to find more confidence in 2016 and to feel better about myself. If you have any advice or suggestions, I would love to hear them!
Echo, this sounds wonderful for you. I wish you much progress, strength, and loads of confidence. I also offer hugs and understanding.
As for a suggestion, this may sound weird, but I once took many many pictures of myself (not your typical selfie) to build confidence, while also working on other parts of my life. Many thought I was being shallow and conceited, but I had a Real purpose. If you’do like to chat about it, just send me an email or FB message. 🙂
Good on you – it took me until I was 50 to focus on my own self-confidence. You are 20 years ahead of me so you must be doing something right! I wish you all the best as you discover who you truly are and embrace that 🙂
GOOD FOR YOU! Guess what? You are WORTH it! I hope you find some peace and happiness this year, and of course more confidence. It’s inside you…time to let it out!
Yay for Echo! You go girl! I think spending time on ourselves like you are doing is time well spent!
I’m right there with you, Echo. I have been struggling with insecurity my whole life, but I’m bound and determined to gain confidence this year. I’m here if you need anything. This is our year!
Go Echo!! I have also struggled with confidence my whole life, and I totally get the false confidence thing. Me to a T. It is so important to truly know ourselves and find that strength. You have a great plan in place and it’s great that you are taking those steps to help find that confidence. I need to get back on track with my search as well! I wish you all the best!
Thank you for sharing with us at #MommyMeetupMondays!
I’ve started exercising. Me! And Yoga is next.
I love that you have a personal trainer. I think that’s wonderful.
I think you’re wonderful.
Great read! I need to focus on myself but it is hard right now with a toddler and an infant. I think I come across as being confident, but I’m really not and I need to work on that. Thank you!
Way to go Echo! I think we all suffer from a lack of confidence in some point in our lives. Continue to build on your strengths and realize the good in all you do. Good luck and 2016 is our year!
Wow. It takes courage to share a post like this. Thank you. And yeah, if we could only all have a bit more confidence to share like this. Thanks for linking up with us at the Best of the Blogosphere Linky Party! ~Jana from http://merlotmommy.com
I’ve always struggled with confidence too. I started getting more confident in my 30’s after I had some career success and met my husband. It wasn’t until just recently – I’m 53 that I really started to feel confident. I can say yes and no confidently, not just because it is what people expect of me. Good luck to you.