I thought I'd be more excited about parenting, but to be honest, it scared me to death. It still does. I am a terrified, anxious, Prozac-taking, peeing-when-I-cough mess and I think I always will be.
“You are going to be someone's mother!”
Oh dear God, what have I done?
I can barely take care of myself, physically and mentally, and now, I am going to have to take care of someone else. How the hell is this going to work?!
“It's a boy!”
I don't know ANYTHING about boys. How am I supposed to raise a boy? Oh my god, I don't know how to clean him, I don't know how to dress him and I have no idea how I am supposed to teach him to pee standing up!
“It's just reflux. He'll probably spit up a lot.”
I can't even handle my own throw up, how am I going to handle someone else's?! Seriously?!
“He's just a very hyper boy.”
How am I supposed to keep up with him?! I am lazy and like to sleep. Why can't he sleep? Why can't I sleep? Please, just let us sleep!
“It's a girl.”
I barely survived the first one and now, I'll have two! Why did I agree to this? What have I done? How can I take care of two lives?!
“He has autism.”
A whole other level right here! It's not even regular parenting, it's like “epic level dungeon” type parenting.
“You are such a great mom!”
My crowning moment! They have both survived past 5 years old and are great kids that are occasionally assholes and that's ok!
I thought I'd be more excited about parenting, but…
At first I was afraid. Man, I was petrified, kept thinking I could never keep these kids alive and I've spent oh so many nights, thinking how I've done it wrong and I grew strong and it turns out, I could parent all along!
I am linking up with Finish The Sentence Friday!