Random Thoughts from the Mad Mommy!
1. When you say “No” to your children, what they hear is “Do it again, just to piss me off!”.
2. My children are addicted to surprise eggs. Surprise eggs are illegal in the U.S. My son is already thinking of ways to smuggle them in. (It’s a vicious cycle)
3. My daughter will not pee in her potty, but she will fill it up with water until it over flows.
4. My kids refuse to take a shower, unless I make it a game. Cleanliness has nothing to do with it.
5. My daughter is at the stage now where rather than telling me she has pooped. She hands it to me. WHY? Why does she have to do that?!
6. I pretty sure I have grey hair, I just keep dying my hair so I can stay in denial.
7. Spaghettio’s are the worst stain causing agent known to man. I have spaghettio stains on clothes, my couch, my floor and I am pretty sure there is one on the wall some where.
8. Give a child dry cereal and he’ll eat breakfast and remain reasonably clean. Give a child a tiny bit of milk in his cereal and it will look like a cow’s udders exploded all over you child and the table.
9. I don’t know why, but my children think that their boogers taste better than ANYTHING I cook.
10. My daughter would rather walk around looking like a lion with a matted mane than let me brush her hair. She would also rather have her hair in the mouth and eyes than wear it up in a ponytail. I am pretty sure my toddler is part savage.
11. For some reason, my son thinks that Hershey’s strawberry syrup is healthy. It must be! There’s fruit in the name! He’s also decided that I need Oxy Clean, Life Lock, Pocket Polly, Hydroxy Cut and a FlowBee. Thank you infomericials.
12. My two year old has began saying “damn it!” as she walks through the house when she’s angry. I have no idea where she gets that from. *covers face*
13. Why are some words so hard for toddlers to say? Please do not ask my toddler about mommy and daddy’s DESK. You may not like the answer.
14. Why does my son automatically assume that EVERYTHING is going to happen. You casually mention something in conversation like, flying to Chicago or sending the children to boarding school and he thinks is is happening RIGHT NOW!
15. I still don’t understand why my children cannot find anything to do! They are surrounded by options, but won’t leave me the hell alone! Come on kids, Mommy needs a moment!
There you have it.
My random thoughts.
What random thoughts have you had lately?