I haven’t done a random thoughts post since January, so I figured I had better get some of these out of my head before they fester and pop! I tend to have a lot of these thoughts and I believe it is because parenting is the most random thing EVER!
Anyway, without further ado, here they are.
Random Thoughts from the Mad Mommy!
I have never felt as lazy as I have since putting on my fitbit. I swear, it taunts me by not registering all of my steps or something!
“Get your fingers out of the dog’s butt!”, “You cannot ride the yorkie.” and “You cannot play Chutes and Ladders naked.” are all things I never thought I would say, but have.
I got a terrible haircut the other day and all I can think about is Ms. Swan.
“The table is not where your boogers go!”, “Eating my dinner will not lead to your untimely death.” and “You might want to put some clothes on before you go outside and blow bubbles.” are also things that I have said.
I always say that I am going to get more exercise, but it ends up looking something like this.
I always say that I am going to eat healthy and then, I’m like “Oh look, Taco Bell!”.
I always say that I am going to try this new shake or detox program, but I’m always like:
My daughter is like one of those magic eye pictures. Everyone sees a sweet little girl, but if you look hard enough, you can see the evilness hidden inside.
My son reminds me of Eugene from The Walking Dead.
For some reason, my yorkie likes to poop on the deck and not in the grass. We now refer to cleaning it up as “swabbing the poopdeck”.
My husband and I have been discussing our need for new living-room furniture and I think we have agreed that we need matching recliners.