I haven’t unleashed my random thoughts in a while, so I think it is time to “Let it go!”, as it were! It’s time for Random Thoughts from the Mad Mommy!
1. Why does everyone expect me to be the world’s best babysitter? Just because I stay home and take care of my kids does not mean that I want to take care of yours too. Truth be told, I don’t even like 90% of other people’s kids.
2. I still do not understand how my 8 year old can pick his nose and eat it all day long, but gags if he has to pick his fork up off of the floor.
3. I went to Starbucks/Target this weekend, by myself, and it was like visiting some strange, new world. I felt like the kids walking into Willy Wonka’s chocolate room for the first time. “In a world of pure imagination!”
4. Have they rewritten the food pyramid lately? According to my kids, boogers, cheese puffs and ketchup make up the bulk of the daily recommended servings.
5. My threenager is slowly becoming a master manipulator. She now knows that if she hurts your feelings and then gets very sympathetic and cuddly, she can pretty much get as much chocolate or as many popsicles as she wants. Especially from her daddy.
6. My son is in that awkward stage where his pant legs are WAY too long, but the waist fits just right. However, he would rather fall UP the stairs than bend over and roll up his pant legs.
7. I have come to the conclusion that there is never enough coffee. No matter how much coffee I have, it is never enough.
8. I have also come to the conclusion that there are never enough naps. I would like more of those.
9. Sometimes, I stare at recipes on Pinterest and wonder how many times that person remade those cookies before they were “Pinterest Perfect”. Mine are never perfect, they just get the “good enough thumbs up”.
10. I have figured out the 3 easiest ways to get my kids attention when they are ignoring me:
- Pick up my phone and start dialing a number.
- Say, “I really need to get this work done.”.
- Walk into the bathroom and shut the door.
11. I think my son’s sense of smell is broken. No matter what I am cooking for dinner, he claims to smell macaroni and cheese, hot dogs or tacos. It’s either broken, or he is king of wishful thinking.
12. My biggest fears are realized when my children are too quiet.
13. On the reverse side, my most embarrassing moments are realized when I take my children out in public. Like the time my son yelled at me from over 50 feet away, in a crowded Target, “We have to go home! My butt is leaking!”. Or the time my daughter threw a fit, kicked her boots off in the frozen food section and one of them happened to hit a lady in the head as she bent down to grab her tater tots.
14. Play-doh in the carpet is a design aesthetic that only one with children can appreciate. Much like marker on the walls and stickers on EVERY surface of your house, except for the piece of paper that they were supposed to go on!
15. Nothing says, “Job well done!” quite like hugs and kisses from your kids at bedtime. Well, that and the giant glass of wine/coffee and the decadent snacks that you help yourself to after the kids are in bed.