Today, my friend Katy from Chaos & Kiddos is taking over the blog to share an incredibly funny story about modesty and raising twin boys!
Take it away, Katy!
There are certain things you come to terms with when your home is populated by twin toddler boys and a husband. You all know what I’m talking about…certain sounds, smells and substances that are the markers of the male race and all its “glory.” Having previously raised my stepdaughter in all pink bows, cleanliness and general order, the energy level and sense of humor in my boys is a whole new ball game as a mother.
There are those times when I’m astounded I even have to utter the words “Don’t lick your brother. Don’t lick your shoe. Don’t lick the floor of the grocery store!” Other days, I stand and stare as my whitey-tighty, super-hero caped crazies run through the house “Lord of the Flies” style in some sort of secret, no-wardrobe required, survival-skilled, take over the world kind of pact. They truly march to the beat of their own drums.
Up until this point, simple play and fun has been just that. If they’re happy, I’m happy. Their innocence and general lack of modesty and/or common logic is a cherished piece of their childhood, and one I aimed to hold on to for as long as possible. And then this happened…
On a particularly trying day of twin-sanity, I found myself forced to bring one of the boys with me to a friend’s makeup party. Thinking we would make a quick stop and that having only one kid instead of two would buy me a few minutes of fun with my gals, I made my first mistake by not calling my friend and gracefully bowing out of the invitation.
At first, it appeared my visit would go wonderfully, as little man sat down to a big plate of fruit and was all smiles for the ladies. The group was quick to include him and he patiently sat, munching away, while the sales rep continued with her spiel. Wow, this is really going to work! I remember thinking. And then he asked to go potty. Cue mistake number two. I let him go by himself.
It’s not what you’re thinking. By the grace of God, he did not shower someone else’s bathroom with all sorts of “fun.” Seriously, praise Jesus. No, he went potty great! Even washed his hands. The part where Mommy was missing came to his clothing and friendly escort back to his chair. As I’m sitting on the outside deck, listening to how I can be beautiful in the blink of a new beauty product, I hear “Hey, ladies!!! Look at me!” With a sweet smile we all turn to look at my cutie. Who most definitely has his “special spot” pulled out of his pants and is swinging it back and forth like Tarzan and is now yelling “It’s my pee-pee!” Pretty sure my jaw hit the floor. Of the center of the Earth.
After graciously requesting that my child clothe himself and spare the rest of us the little presentation in “I have no modesty,” I turned back to the ladies and said “Well, you brought the drinks and I brought the show.” Everyone burst out laughing (praise Jesus) and we continued on our merry home shopping ways.
Until of course, the dude reminded us that he still needs help in one area of potty training. “Mommy, mommy! The poops are coming!!” (No idea why that’s plural, but that’s what they say.) Thankfully, this time I had the smarts to go with him, as he continued to yell “I tooted! The poops are coming! Did you hear it? Hurry, Mommy!” all the way into the house. Yup, we’re a classy bunch. And apparently my third mistake was teaching him to talk.
As we left the party, I was all apologies and burning cheeks embarrassed, all while my son was happy as a clam, blissfully unaware that he lacked basic social skills of any kind. As he delivered a big hug and kiss to our very patient hostess, she said “I had so much fun with you here! Thanks for coming to play!” and she laughed. I was reminded in that moment to not take life too seriously. Sure, modesty is always the best policy, but sometimes kids are just going to be kids. All you can do is laugh and keep on, keepin’ on. For as mortifying as those moments had been, I still laugh even now recounting the story. My friends and I share a memory that we’ll probably chuckle over at my son’s wedding someday. That’s life! And I love it. Boy nasty and all.
Welcome to the chaos! I’m Katy, the writing Mama behind Chaos & Kiddos, a blog dedicated to helping working mothers claim a more manageable life as they seek to achieve balance and order in both the professional arena and their home lives. In between juggling twin toddler boys, a rowdy teenage stepdaughter, a handful of fish, a newly acquired snail, one rescue pup and a self-entitled bull dog with my husband of almost 10 years, I also work full time in sales and run a boudoir photography business in Virginia Beach, VA.
When I’m not elbows-deep in kiddo crazy, you can find me behind the camera, teaching basic photography and small business management, or managing The Studio Hampton Roads. Yup, I’m one busy gal!
Call me crazy, but life is good. If you’d like to learn how to make life more manageable as a working mom, be sure to visit me on social media and subscribe to the blog! If you’re looking for a support system as a busy, working mom, be sure to join us at Working Moms United!