I’ve already shared 5 Things I Do As A Parent. (All sarcasm aside.)
Now, it’s time to share what I don’t do as a parent. (With some sarcasm.)
I just can’t help myself.
1. I don’t do parental volunteering.
When I became a parent, I volunteered my life, my sanity, my freedom, my privacy and my body. Please forgive me if I do not want to hand out carnival tickets or cookies to 900 elementary kids. I’m sorry, not sorry.
2. I don’t practice what I preach.
I am a horrible example for my kids, at times.
“Take some time away from technology and go play.” I say as I stare at my computer screen for the 3rd hour straight.
“No, we are about to have dinner. You can’t have a cookie.” I say as I wipe the cookie crumbs off of my chin.
“It’s not healthy to drink pop everyday!” I say as I used to down 6 cans of pop a day.
Do as I say, kids! Not as I do!
3. I don’t practice enough patience.
I can be horribly impatient. Everyone knows this. When I am frustrated, my fuse is extremely short. I should really work on that.
4. I don’t give Santa all of the credit.
Santa Claus gets credit for everything! Did Santa wait in line to buy that shit? Did Santa save up the money? Did Santa search for hours upon hours for that perfect gift? HELL NO! I take credit for all Christmas gifts. Santa only gets credit for the stocking.
5. I don’t regret becoming a parent.
No matter how hard it gets. No matter how frustrated, tired or crazy I am. I don’t regret becoming a parent. It changed me in ways I never thought of and it fulfills me in ways that I never thought possible.