When you are in a relationship with someone for as long as my husband and I have, you get used to each other. There is a level of comfort that has not been achieved since, perhaps, you were a newborn in your mother’s arms. Everything seems natural and just flows. You are used to them checking their phone during a date night or even finding their crusty, crunchy socks next to their favorite spot. However, every once in a while, something erupts. A mountain out of a mole hill, but in a relationship, it can seem like making Mt. Everest out of an ant hill and then, The Clash Of The Couples begins!
This book is an amazing compilation put together by the brilliant mind of Crystal Ponti, who also put together The Mother Of All Meltdowns!
In this book, these brave women and men, tell their tales of Completely Absurd Lover’s Squabbles and Relationship Spats!
I remember when submissions began for this and I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out anything to submit. After reading this fantastically hilarious collection, I finally remembered.
The Morning I Slapped Him Silent.
I woke up, like any other morning. “Good Morning, babe.”, I said softly. He groaned and rolled over, putting his back towards me. Hmmm, not our usual morning greeting, but he isn’t much of a morning person anyway. I started my normal routine, getting the kids up and fed. He got up, got ready for work, gave me a super quick peck on the cheek (no contact was made) and then left, all without a word. The silent treatment! Now I knew something was wrong. I racked my brain all morning and into the afternoon. What had I done? What had I said? I don’t remember anything to warrant the silent treatment.
It only got worse as the day went on. No texts, no phone call at lunch. I tried texting him, no response. What the hell?! What on Earth did I do?!
When he got home, we said through an awkwardly silent dinner and then, retired to the living room. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to ask him, even though the kids were still up!
“What is wrong? Why are you ignoring me? What did I do?”.
“You slapped me!”, he said. “You slapped me hard this morning to wake me up!”.
“I did what?!”, I said in complete shock. “I would never hit you!”. I was so confused.
“This morning, you slapped my face and woke me up.”, he said.
Again, I racked my brain. I went over every single action that I had made that morning. No slap was present in any memory.
I finally asked, “Was I awake?!”.
He thought for a moment. “I assumed you were!”.
We finally came to the realization that I must have smacked his face while turning over in the morning. Of course, we laughed about it after we realized, but yes, there was a morning where I slapped my husband silent!
The stories in this book are way more funny, way more detailed and will make you laugh harder than my little memory.
This book reminds us that even the most seemingly perfect relationships have momentary lapses of common sense, judgement and communication.
With collaborators like:
and many more, this book is one that no one in a long-term relationship should be without!
So, get it for yourself, get it for your significant other, get it for that newly wedded couple, just make sure you get it!
Just Buy This Book!
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Love and marriage.
Love and marriage.
Goes together like a horse and carriage.
(A horse and carriage never provides a completely smooth ride, so hold on!)