Today marks the 11th year of my entrance into motherhood. Today, my oldest baby turns 11 and yes, he is still my baby. Probably always will be and I can say that, because I am his mother! Any way, I have heard and read a lot of birth stories and I always think they are interesting, so I thought this year, I would tell my own. This is how I became a mother, act one!
It was never supposed to be easy for me to become a mother. The doctors told me when I was 15 that it probably wouldn’t happen “without medical help”. You see, I suffered trauma, I had an ovary that never fully formed and I was diagnosed with PCOS. I really had no chance. So, imagine my shock when I became pregnant right out of the gate!
That’s right, “a fertile myrtle” the doctor called me. Unfortunately, the pregnancy wasn’t as easy to maintain. I had a total of 3 miscarriages, all pretty early on, before I became pregnant with you. I was so scared that I would lose you too and I almost did. I had a threatened miscarriage at 15 weeks and I thought for sure, you were gone. I was taken to the hospital and there you were, on the ultrasound, holding on. Part of me knew it would be ok, but part of me was terrified my entire pregnancy.
I was placed on partial bed-rest and had to keep “stressful activity” to a minimum. That wasn’t easy, but I knew I had to do whatever I had to do to meet you.
At 37 weeks, I had unbearable pain and the doctor decided to test you to see if you were ready to come out. The test came back good, said you were using your lungs and I was admitted to the hospital on the morning of March 1st.
I was given pitocin and had my water broken to induce labor. As the pain in contractions escalated, I asked for an epidural. This was a problem. 2 different anesthesiologist tried for over an hour to get a working epidural into my back and never succeeded. It was at about hour 14 of hard labor that they realized I wasn’t progressing, you were stuck and starting to show signs of distress. The prepped me for an emergency c-section.
Since I wasn’t able to get the epidural, they couldn’t give me a spinal, so they put me to sleep for the surgery. I woke up, alone, in a recovery room, 2 hours later, without a baby. It was one of the worst feelings EVER! I just wanted to get to you, to hold you, to know that you were ok. All my fears were relieved when they brought me upstairs and put you in my arms! You were born, perfect in every way, in the early morning hours of March 2nd and you changed my life forever.
The road wasn’t easy, not at all. There was a serious infection for me, that separated us for days when you were barely a week old and there was some postpartum depression that I had to get help with, but with help and support, we pulled through!
My tiny, smiley boy with those big giant eyes! Everyone loved you and everyone still does!
Your vibrant personality and adventurous spirit made parenting fun, difficult and very tiring, but I would do it all again!
Your curiosity and thirst for knowledge is unmatched by most! It seems like you are listening and paying the most attention when no one thinks you are!
You are my baby, you are my boy.
You changed my life forever and I didn’t need that old life any more.